{"id":13347,"date":"2024-07-04T15:09:47","date_gmt":"2024-07-04T15:09:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/newsx48.info\/?p=13347"},"modified":"2024-07-04T15:10:15","modified_gmt":"2024-07-04T15:10:15","slug":"an-old-lady-is-speeding-down-a-highway-when-she-spots-a-police-officer-with-a-speed-gun","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newsx48.info\/?p=13347","title":{"rendered":"An old lady is speeding down a highway, when she spots a police officer with a speed gun."},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"has-small-font-size\"><strong>The officer motions for her to pull over, then approaches up and asks her, smiling: \u201cWhat\u2019s the rush?\u201d \u201cI\u2019m late for work.\u201d \u201cSure,\u201d the officer replies, \u201cWhat do you do?\u201d \u201cI\u2019m a rectal distender.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"code-block code-block-2\">\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div id=\"aswift_2_host\"><\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image is-resized\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/jokesoftheday.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/old-lady-driving-e1589666630335.png\" alt=\"\" \/><\/figure>\n<p class=\"has-small-font-size\"><strong>\u201cA what?\u201d A rectal distender? \u201cWhat exactly is that?\u201d \u201cWell, you see, I start with one finger, then another, and so on, until the entire hand is in. I work from side to side until I can fit both hands in, and then I slowly but steadily enlarge the rectum until it\u2019s approximately 6 feet wide.\u201d\u201cAnd what the hell do you do with a 6 feet asshole?\u201d \u201cGive him a\u00a0<a class=\"google-anno\" href=\"https:\/\/bilgininadresi.net\/2024\/06\/27\/an-old-lady-is-speeding-down-a-highway-when-she-spots-a-police-officer-with-a-speed-gun\/#\">\u00a0<span class=\"google-anno-t\">speed gun<\/span><\/a>\u00a0and put him by the side of the road.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The officer motions for her to pull over, then approaches up and asks her, smiling: \u201cWhat\u2019s the rush?\u201d \u201cI\u2019m late for work.\u201d \u201cSure,\u201d the officer replies, \u201cWhat do you do?\u201d \u201cI\u2019m a rectal distender.\u201d &nbsp; &nbsp; \u201cA what?\u201d A rectal distender? \u201cWhat exactly is that?\u201d \u201cWell, you see, I start with one finger, then another,&#8230;<\/p>\n<p class=\"more-link-wrap\"><a href=\"https:\/\/newsx48.info\/?p=13347\" class=\"more-link\">Read More<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &ldquo;An old lady is speeding down a highway, when she spots a police officer with a speed gun.&rdquo;<\/span> &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":13349,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsx48.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13347"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsx48.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsx48.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsx48.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsx48.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13347"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/newsx48.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13347\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13350,"href":"https:\/\/newsx48.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13347\/revisions\/13350"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsx48.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/13349"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsx48.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13347"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsx48.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13347"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsx48.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13347"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}