Two elderly women were having a late lunch and a drink at a local pub one afternoon when Ethel noticed something funny about Mable’s ear and said, “Mable, did you know you’ve got a suppository in your left ear?” Mable answered, “I have? A suppository?” She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she…
An Angry Wife Was Complaining About Her Husband. An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar, So one night he took her along with him. “What’ll you have?” he asked. “Oh, I don’t know. The same as you I suppose,” she replied. So, the husband ordered a…
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How much is it?” she asked. “One hundred and fifty dollars,” he replied. She felt that was kind of expensive and told him so. “But it comes with an inscription,” he said. “What kind of inscription?” she asked. “Whatever you wish,” he explained, “but one of the old golfers favourites is, ‘NEVER UP, NEVER IN.”…
A man and his wife were having an argument in bed. A man and his wife were having an argument in bed. He finally jumped up and took a blanket to the couch. The next day the wife feeling bad about what happened decided to buy her husband a gift, and since he was an…
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Ray was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground. A rooster strolled past. ‘So, you’re the new hen, huh? How’s your first day here?’ ‘Not bad,’ replied Ray the hen, ‘but I have…
Ray the chickenRay came home one night from a long day at work, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, ‘You died in your sleep, Ray.’ Ray was stunned. ‘I’m dead? No, I can’t be! I’ve got too much…
Then he takes me out for dinner… a marvelous dinner… lobster, champagne, dessert, and after-dinner drinks.Then we go see a show…Let me tell you, Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure!But then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL. Completely crazy, he tears…
Dorothy and Edna, two elderly widows, are talking.Dorothy: “That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer.”Edna: “ Well, I’ll warn you about what happened last week!He shows up…
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Each of the trees is dirty now. So, it’s a dirty tree plus a dirty tree plus a dirty tree. That makes 99.” “All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100?” The old man stares into space again; he then picks up the picture and makes a little mark at the…
An elderly man wants a job, but the foreman won’t hire him until he passes a little maths test: “Here is your first question.” The foreman says. “Without using numbers, represent the number nine?” “Without numbers?” The old man says. “That’s easy.” And he proceeds to draw three trees. “What’s this?” The boss asks. “Have…
